After an entire semester of trying to teach this stuff...
After giving them a study guide of what will be on the test...
After announcing in class several things on the study guide that they should really know...
After all of this, I can now say...
"Statistically speaking, my teaching has had no impact."
Sigh. (This is why professors get long Christmas breaks. After grading papers and final exams, it takes that long for us to regain our esteem and hope in the future of humanity before we can face another semester of futility!!!)
December 11, 2013
December 7, 2013
Is that really necessary?
I just realized that my ice cream has a warning label -
In the immortal words of Chris Carter, C'mon, Man!
I think this may even replace my previous fav, "Egg rolls deep fried in oil are no longer a fat free food."
Keep frozen until ready to serve.
In the immortal words of Chris Carter, C'mon, Man!
I think this may even replace my previous fav, "Egg rolls deep fried in oil are no longer a fat free food."
November 22, 2013
Finally, a chance to breathe!
This semester has really been a doozy.
I taught 14 credit hours (2 more than regular load), but in a front-loaded manner. We had a new course this year for Freshmen, boringly entitled College Life. It was only 1 credit, but we met 3 times a week for the first 10 weeks. That made it a double-contact class, as 30 hours of class meetings would normally equate to a 2 credit course. But we still only got paid for 1 credit.
This meant that for the first 10 weeks of the semester (through 11/1), I was literally in the classroom teaching for 18 hours of each week. The rest of my job takes way more than the remaining 22 hours of "full time," so I worked a lot of evenings and weekends. Mock trial is also front loaded, so it wrapped up regular classes at the same time. So after 10 weeks of 18-hour-teaching weeks I suddenly dropped to 9-hour-teaching weeks.
But 11/1 was a long time ago, right? Why am I still complaining? Well, the registration period of spring semester kicked in on 11/4 and ran for the next two weeks. We have the most antiquated system ever - advisors have to physically enter a students courses for them. The few students who come completely prepared take 10-15 minutes, but the majority haven't bothered to choose classes before they show up. Plus, we're supposed to talk with them about how everything is going, etc., etc., as well. I'm wordy (go ahead and chuckle at that understatement), and my appointments tend to take about 30 minutes. I had 43 advising appointments during those 2 weeks, which meant around 10-11 hours of advising in place of those 9 hours I was suddenly freed from the classroom.
On top of that, once Mock Trial wraps up regular class, we go into presentation season. I had a big class this year, which meant we staged 3 separate mock trials this semester. For me, that includes finding a judge and jury and attending each trial to grade.
Did I mention that my continued employment portfolio was also due within that timeframe? I handed it to our division chair late and asked him to please fire me immediately. He said not a chance. Oh, and I still teach institute 1 night a week.
So this week was the last mock trial, handling some registration stragglers, and doing a mock class presentation for a recruiting day visit. I also got to cover Paul's classes while he was trapped in a 3-day "retreat" held right on campus. (Two thoughts there - I'd much rather fill in for a few classes than go to a 3 day meeting. And, if you call it a retreat, shouldn't you actually get to retreat somewhere off campus? What's neat about using the regular conference room and eating the regular cafeteria food?)
And now? All of that is done, completely done! Aside from 6 students that still haven't come in to register for classes, I am down to 9 hours of teaching each week and 31 blessed hours to grade, do the administrative stuff I suck at and hate, write finals, and so forth. Plus most of next week off. And it's marvelous. I can feel my shoulders de-tensing as I type!
I taught 14 credit hours (2 more than regular load), but in a front-loaded manner. We had a new course this year for Freshmen, boringly entitled College Life. It was only 1 credit, but we met 3 times a week for the first 10 weeks. That made it a double-contact class, as 30 hours of class meetings would normally equate to a 2 credit course. But we still only got paid for 1 credit.
This meant that for the first 10 weeks of the semester (through 11/1), I was literally in the classroom teaching for 18 hours of each week. The rest of my job takes way more than the remaining 22 hours of "full time," so I worked a lot of evenings and weekends. Mock trial is also front loaded, so it wrapped up regular classes at the same time. So after 10 weeks of 18-hour-teaching weeks I suddenly dropped to 9-hour-teaching weeks.
But 11/1 was a long time ago, right? Why am I still complaining? Well, the registration period of spring semester kicked in on 11/4 and ran for the next two weeks. We have the most antiquated system ever - advisors have to physically enter a students courses for them. The few students who come completely prepared take 10-15 minutes, but the majority haven't bothered to choose classes before they show up. Plus, we're supposed to talk with them about how everything is going, etc., etc., as well. I'm wordy (go ahead and chuckle at that understatement), and my appointments tend to take about 30 minutes. I had 43 advising appointments during those 2 weeks, which meant around 10-11 hours of advising in place of those 9 hours I was suddenly freed from the classroom.
On top of that, once Mock Trial wraps up regular class, we go into presentation season. I had a big class this year, which meant we staged 3 separate mock trials this semester. For me, that includes finding a judge and jury and attending each trial to grade.
Did I mention that my continued employment portfolio was also due within that timeframe? I handed it to our division chair late and asked him to please fire me immediately. He said not a chance. Oh, and I still teach institute 1 night a week.
So this week was the last mock trial, handling some registration stragglers, and doing a mock class presentation for a recruiting day visit. I also got to cover Paul's classes while he was trapped in a 3-day "retreat" held right on campus. (Two thoughts there - I'd much rather fill in for a few classes than go to a 3 day meeting. And, if you call it a retreat, shouldn't you actually get to retreat somewhere off campus? What's neat about using the regular conference room and eating the regular cafeteria food?)
And now? All of that is done, completely done! Aside from 6 students that still haven't come in to register for classes, I am down to 9 hours of teaching each week and 31 blessed hours to grade, do the administrative stuff I suck at and hate, write finals, and so forth. Plus most of next week off. And it's marvelous. I can feel my shoulders de-tensing as I type!
Happy Thanksgiving!
November 12, 2013
Lifespan of a Jack-O-Lantern
Over the summer I babysat the Adams' pumpkin plant (and some other plants) while they went to Idaho/Utah. They ended up with a handful of really tiny pumpkins. Their son Nat, who is 11 or 12, decided I should have a carved mini pumpkin to keep my pumpkin, Betsy, company. I didn't think it was possible to carve a pumpkin that small, but Nat is one determined and persistent young man, and Betsy got her Mini Me.
Halloween came. No trick-or-treaters did, though. It's a dead-end street, off of a busy street, and the busy street doesn't have any sidewalks on our side of it - so objectively you can see how we would get skipped. Still a bummer though. I ate most of the Baby Ruth's out of my candy mix, then Heather (of the Adams Family) brought her kids over to see Nat's work and trick-or-treat. (She also brought me homemade doughnuts!) Her kids ended up with quite the haul at my house - I don't like Butterfingers much, so they divided up most of what was there.
Halloween passed, and I didn't get around to ceremonially disposing of Betsy and Boopsy in a timely manner. Today I came home and realized they weren't looking so cheerful anymore.
Thanksgiving and Christmas will be better!
 |
| Hi! I'm Betsy! This is Boopsy! We're so EXCITED to be alive and celebrating Halloween! |
Halloween came. No trick-or-treaters did, though. It's a dead-end street, off of a busy street, and the busy street doesn't have any sidewalks on our side of it - so objectively you can see how we would get skipped. Still a bummer though. I ate most of the Baby Ruth's out of my candy mix, then Heather (of the Adams Family) brought her kids over to see Nat's work and trick-or-treat. (She also brought me homemade doughnuts!) Her kids ended up with quite the haul at my house - I don't like Butterfingers much, so they divided up most of what was there.
Halloween passed, and I didn't get around to ceremonially disposing of Betsy and Boopsy in a timely manner. Today I came home and realized they weren't looking so cheerful anymore.
 |
| Well, that SUCKED! |
Odd Obvservations from Iowa
- I was unloading my groceries into my car today, when a woman in the car next to me rolled her window down to smoke. It's one of those famous bitterly cold Iowa days with a cutting wind, and I could hear a kid in the back seat complaining about it being cold. So this woman snaps at him "Would you rather freeze or die of second-hand smoke?" I found that sadly funny - personally, I'll take (c) not smoke in the car so the windows can stay up.
- The main route to church, work, basically the places I go most days, had been closed for a while for bridge repair. It's open again, but it was closed so long I got in the habit of a different route, and now I can't remember to go the short way anymore.
- Advising week sucks. It sucks even more when you also have 3 mock trials to run and some other meetings. It sucks most of all when you also have your continuing employment portfolio due on Friday AND it's your turn to bring treats to Friday Coffee. I haven't snapped yet, but it's only Tuesday.
- At my mock trial yesterday, one of the student teams made this great argument about how the accused planned the murder out, even filing a police report about her gun being stolen months ahead of time. It was well crafted, and I was very proud of them. Then the student doing the closing ended it with "or maybe she just snapped," shrugged his shoulders, and sat down. They won anyway, because the defense side spent a huge amount of time establishing how easy it would have been for anyone to steal a security card - not really helpful when said stolen security card is found hidden in the defendant's home!
- Two weeks ago, I forgot it was trash day. Last week I put it out and they somehow skipped me. They better remember tomorrow, because I'm really out of room. I already put it out - planning ahead and realizing I won't want to go out in the freezing cold to do it tonight.
- Much as I hate the bitter cold stretches, I'm not sure there is anything I love more than going to sleep at night in flannel sheets with a ton of blankets. The weight is the best part.
November 5, 2013
11/6/13 - First Snowflakes of the Year
These ones won't stick around, but I keep hearing predictions that we are going to have a BAD winter.
Also, I distinctly recall snow in early May last spring, which means we barely got 6 months in between snows.
Finally, I wish to express my ongoing displeasure at the length of my driveway. I actually don't mind a LITTLE snow shoveling - I love how quiet and muffled the world is in the early morning after a snowfall. But my pleasure in shoveling disappears long before my driveway is cleared.
(If you think I complain about the snow, be glad little Miss Maggie can't blog!)
Also, I distinctly recall snow in early May last spring, which means we barely got 6 months in between snows.
Finally, I wish to express my ongoing displeasure at the length of my driveway. I actually don't mind a LITTLE snow shoveling - I love how quiet and muffled the world is in the early morning after a snowfall. But my pleasure in shoveling disappears long before my driveway is cleared.
(If you think I complain about the snow, be glad little Miss Maggie can't blog!)
October 21, 2013
Note to Self...
You just can't rush a custard.
No matter how late it is.
No matter how hard you are kicking yourself for volunteering to bring dessert to a funeral tomorrow.
No matter that both Monday Night Football and a Bulls game are on.
Custard takes time. Dedication. LOW HEAT. CONSTANT STIRRING.
Or you get this:
And even in my slightly warped, constantly on the edge of deviance world, orange flavored scrambled eggs are an unacceptable pie filling. Thank heavens I had some cream cheese and cool whip on hand to throw together an edible replacement.
No matter how late it is.
No matter how hard you are kicking yourself for volunteering to bring dessert to a funeral tomorrow.
No matter that both Monday Night Football and a Bulls game are on.
Custard takes time. Dedication. LOW HEAT. CONSTANT STIRRING.
Or you get this:
And even in my slightly warped, constantly on the edge of deviance world, orange flavored scrambled eggs are an unacceptable pie filling. Thank heavens I had some cream cheese and cool whip on hand to throw together an edible replacement.
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