Apparently, it's New Year resolution time....

I'm seeing lists everywhere.  But this one is my favorite:

1.  Relax and watch TV.

2.  Laugh once a day.

3.  Stand pat on your vices - just don't add any new ones.  As long as things aren't getting worse, you can argue that they are better.

4.  Finish something you started - not everything, just one thing.

5.  Don't get any fatter.

(Edited for brevity - but I put the link above if you want to read the whole thing.  I'd advise against it if you aren't open to people blogging as their cat, though.)

So I'm feeling inspired!  But I don't want to fall into that trap of setting lofty goals that I fizzle out on within the month.  I'm also feeling a bit directed by a talk in my parents' ward last week about basing your goals on issues of eternal importance rather than mortal desires.  They can look the same, though - like you could want to lose weight to be healthier to better serve in your calling or to be smoking hot.  The smoking hot part should just be a happy coincidence.  :)

So here is my carefully pondered list of goals, made public so that you can all help hold me accountable - because I am the most expert of experts on rationalization:

1.  Exercise more.  Notice I'm not being so specific that I will fail...because quite truthfully any exercise at all will be more than last year.  My real goal is, when filling out my lovely Harris Poll surveys that always ask how many days I've "exercised vigorously" in the past 30 days, to at least think hard about it before filling in "0".  The weather has assisted me in getting off to a roaring start by providing several inches of snow to be shoveled tomorrow.

2.  Keep my office cleaner.  I've sort of excused a mess of immense proportions by rationalizing (told you I'm good at it) that as a new professor I have so many more important things to focus on.  But there's really no reason I can't take at least 5 minutes at the end of the day to straighten up all the piles I'm putting off till tomorrow, right?

3.  Eat out less.  This will actually be challenging while my kitchen is getting done, but aside from that I have no excuse.  I only live 5 minutes from work - it's not like I'm going to starve on the way home!  (That was my Oklahoma rationalization when I had an hour drive.)  And I love to cook, and I'm darn good at it.  The hard part is going to be breakfast - I have no idea why I like them, but I'm positively addicted to the sausage burritos at McDonalds.  2 burritos and a large diet coke, $3.95.  Not good for my waistline or pocketbook, but mornings just won't be the same.

4.  Spend less money.  Buying new stuff for the house was a blast, but it's hard to get out of the habit.  Plus, at least for me, when spending thousands of dollars on major projects, small stuff starts to feel totally inconsequential - but all those $20s here and there really add up.  I'm done with big stuff, except painting.  So it's time to go back to the strict student budget of yesteryear and start doing some saving.  I may want to teach till I'm a doddering old 80-year-old that can't remember anything from the immediately past 5 years and has no clue about current technology, but it would be nice to have the option to retire earlier.  Also, I'm out of space for stuff!  :)  So barring a miraculous need for a skinny wardrobe, the bank is closed!

5.  Stop going to hell.  I've heard that going cold turkey can be really stressful, so maybe I'll just limit my going to hell moments to a max of two per month.  This one rwill be tough, since most of my going to hell stuff is more thought than action.  (Except for Walmart - that was action.  I feel bad.  If you don't know what I'm talking about, just know that I repent.  Hastily.)  So I will work on things like not praying for snow when I'm suppose to be praying it doesn't snow, or experiencing violent road rage thoughts when trapped behind someone going 5 miles under the speed limit.

By 2012 I fully expect to be a thinner, richer, more pious, and much neater person. 

May 2011 treat you well, and may all your favorite sports teams win championships, unless they are playing my favorite team.