Prideful Dilemmas

So I've been having this forgiveness issue the past few days, and wouldn't you know it came up right after we had wonderful lessons about forgiveness in Young Women and being humble and not taking offense in Sunday School.

This is what happened. I loaned a book to someone recently - a hardbound book that had a crack in the binding but was in one piece. The book was returned to me literally in 4 pieces - 3 pieces completely separated from the binding. Now, given that the binding was already a bit compromised, I wouldn't have given it much of a thought if the book were returned with an apology. I certainly wouldn't have expected or allowed it to be replaced with a new one. But I found myself feeling rather miffed that the book was not returned with an apology, or even sheepishly for that matter. This was our conversation:

"Here's your book." (Hands over the book with parts slipping everywhere.)

"Oh my goodness, it's in pieces!" (I wasn't trying to make anyone feel bad or anything, just was surprised at it's condition.)

"Yeah, it fell apart. Happens sometimes." (Laughs, shrugs shoulders, and wanders away.)

So I've realized that I'm not miffed about the book itself, but about the lack of an apology over returning something in basically unusable condition. And I realize this is quite petty, because I would have accepted an apology instantly and gone on without another thought about it. I mean, it's just a book, and it can be replaced for less than $15. It's hardly worth being angry at someone. And this is exactly like all those stories of early church members who drifted astray over ridiculously tiny offenses (not that I'm planning to drift astray or anything - I just kept remembering that lesson every time I noticed my book sitting there in pieces and felt a fresh wave of irritation.) Then today it finally occurred to me - if I want to get past this, maybe I ought to put the book away somewhere out of sight, or just go ahead and toss it and get it over with - and if I just leave it out where I can be reminded that I'm irritated, that probably means I don't really want to forgive and forget at all. Stupid Young Women lesson about forgiveness being an action, and not an emotion! ;)

So I put the book away. And now I'm hoping there's not some big "forgiveness" trial on its way, that I needed this little reminder lesson to get prepared for it....