1. Play dough does not belong in church.
2. Squirrel carcasses are unwelcome gifts.
3. Hot oil is, indeed, hot.
4. There is no such thing as the paper grading fairy.
5. Even though both cartons are green, buttermilk and 1% milk are not the same thing.
6. 3 weeks is both a really long time and not nearly long enough to get everything done.
7. The Sioux City meteorologist is a big, fat liar. (Even though technically she is disgustingly petite.)
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