The Joy of Teenagers

So I realize that this will be nothing new to those of you who have/had teenagers, and probably won't get me much sympathy, either. I just spent the morning and early afternoon at Girls Camp. This was not the plan - one of my counselors was going to drive them up in her suburban, so I just had to deliver one inactive young woman to the church to meet up with everyone else. We've spent much time working on this particular young woman, Alicia - Beehives have taken Sunday afternoons to ride over with me in hopes of catching her at home for a visit, we've sent numerous notecards, the girls have made calls - and so far we've managed to get her to one mutual activity. She's super shy, and most Wednesdays involve me dropping by to pick her up and her having some excuse ready for why she can't make it today, but she'll come next week! So she signed up for camp and seemed enthusiastic, but when I got there this morning she was entrenched in the corner of her room, arms crossed, jaw jutting, and insisting she wasn't going. I actually anticipated this a bit, given the track record, but thought her mother just might make her go this time given the time and money put into getting ready for camp.

Well, just before I got there, her mother had resorted to telling her she was grounded for the duration of camp if she didn't go, and she had decided that sounded preferable to camp. (Yes, I can picture myself doing the same type of thing at 13 - oh, the irony!) I spent 20 minutes trying to persuade her to come - which I had not allowed for in the morning's timeline, and I did have to get to the church to get out camp manuals for the new girls. Was she going to enjoy sitting in her room for 4 days? No, it would be miserable. So why not try camp? Shoulder shrug. What is it that makes you not want to go? Shoulder shrug. So I'm running through all the great stuff that happens at camp, and doesn't that sound like it could be fun? Yes, it does. More fun than sitting in your room for 4 days? Yes. So are you ready to go? No, she's not going. How about if I promise she can call me to come get her if she doesn't like it? No, she just doesn't want to go. And I wanted so badly to be all, "fine, have fun in your room, I've got to go." But I knew if she gave it a chance she'd have a great time, and if she could just be around the other girls enough to make friends that she'd be far more likely to come on Sundays/Wednesdays, not to mention that this family is on the bishop's "List," and we have a very dedicated bishop when it comes to reaching out to inactives. So my final thought, after about the 4th silent prayer for inspiration (for her or me, I wasn't picky), how about I drive you there myself and stay till the afternoon activities, and if you still want to you can come home with me? She didn't say anything, or shrug her shoulders, but kind of looked at me with this pained expression, which I chose to interpret as a desire to go (maybe deep, deep inside) in competition with her shyness. (On the other hand, it could have been more "why does this crazy lady not leave me alone?!?!) So I said, "Great, so you're coming with me, at least for the day!" and jumped up, grabbed her suitcase and sleeping bag, and headed for the door. She followed, thankfully, and we were on the road at last.

The other girls were, of course, incredibly anxious that I'd forgotten them and to get going - first one's there get beds on the end of the cabin with AC, apparently. Alicia wouldn't consent to ride in the surburban with the other girls, but our incredibly, wonderfully mature and thoughtful Beehive class president, Ashley, jumped right out of the suburban and into my car without being asked or acting like it was a big deal to ride with a near stranger instead of all of her friends. She gave fellowshipping her all the whole ride to camp, and by the time we got there had Alicia at least responding to direct questions in more than yes/no answers. We got to camp, got them registered, and before we were even out of the lodge Alicia informed me that she didn't think she was going to want to stay. Well, I was not about to give in that easily, so I fibbed a bit and said I needed to stay till after lunch so she had some time to make up her mind. I have no idea if she remembered that I wasn't suppose to be there at all according to the original plan, but she didn't call me on it. We went to unload the cars then, but she wouldn't unload her stuff because she wasn't staying and it would be silly to carry it all down and then right back up again. That was a battle I figured I could let go. However, she really needed to get involved interacting with the others, so I knew I needed to give her something to do and then disappear. Fortunately, with all the stuff the others had, it was easy to load her up and tell her to follow the others to the cabins. I didn't want her to think I had abandoned her after I promised, so I did reassure her that I wasn't leaving and would check back with her at lunch, which was only 2 hours away. And Ashley and Kristy (Beehive 1st counselor) had already promised to make sure at least one of them stayed with her and to try to get her involved. So with that, I pushed my little baby bird out of the nest and hid in the kitchen - and they weren't sorry to have an extra set of hands for a little while.

I peaked out at opening ceremonies every once in a while, and Alicia was being very competently shepherded by Kristy and Ashley, but wasn't going out of her way to participate with anything. They do "Boom Chicka-Boom" here, too, and she didn't start clapping with the others till almost the end of the song, and they did Shark Attack and she didn't join in the actions, and when they split up into their camp levels for get-to-know-you games she hung back till they just moved their circle to where she was. I didn't know if she was having a good time, but most of those little 13-year-olds jumped right into it and didn't give her a choice about participating. They just swooped her up and carried her right along with them. So at lunch time I went out to eat with them, but didn't ask Alicia whether she was going to stay - and she didn't say she wasn't. I only asked her what she thought of camp, and she just said it was pretty alright. After the girls finished eating they got up to go get ready for the afternoon classes, someone said "Come on, Alicia, we've got free time first and that means we can swim!" - and she got up and headed out with them without a word about staying or not staying for good. Of course, I still had all of her stuff in my car, but I wanted to give her as long as possible to get integrated with the group. I kept being afraid that at the point I said I was leaving she'd decide she was going, too. But 10 minutes later she and Kristy were back, and Kristy informed me she was staying and they needed her stuff. I asked Alicia at that point, just to be sure this was her choice, and she smiled and said yes - which was the most positive response I'd gotten from her all day. They had her stuff out of my car in 2 seconds flat and were racing off to get as much swimming in as possible before first aid class, and that was that!

So all in all, my morning was about 6 hours longer than anticipated, but I got a free lunch and (hopefully) a newly active Beehive out of it. And my other little Beehives finally got to see some results from all the reactivation and fellowshipping efforts they've been faithfully putting in with almost nothing outwardly to show for it over the past year. But mostly, Alicia gets the fun and spiritualness of Girls Camp.